For the first time with a leak (and I've had many) I didn't cry. I was aggravated but I didn't cry. I just got up, dealt with it and moved on with my day.
I also used these for the first time today:
Coloplast brand barrier strips. As you can see, the strip goes over the edges of the flange. They seem very heavy duty and are sticking REALLY well. I think this is going to change my whole outlook and life with a stoma. I am glad the person at the medical supply place suggested I try them (I believe she said people swear by them). I'll feel more confident about no leaks, swimming, etc.
I was a bit sad about random things today so I took the kids out for fun at the park for a bit and when I got back home I decided to purge. I cleaned a massive part of the main floor of our house. Since October, after every hospital stay, every home health nurse visit… all those medical supplies and whatnot landed in the dining room and never left. While I don't go in the dining room often, I could see the mound of crapola every day. It was extremely therapeutic to throw all that stuff away. All the picc line supplies, tpn supplies, gauze, medical tape, tubes, etc. It's all gone. I think that unconsciously I was seeing all that stuff and it was bringing me down. Reminding me of all the crap I've been through. All the hospital stays, constant pain, surgeries, missing my family, etc. I think now that it's gone I can really move forward.
I don't know what will happen next. I don't know if I'll ever get to ditch the stoma but whatever comes I know I can handle it because I've handled it all so far. I may have not handled it great all the time but I made it through. My 9 month pity party is coming to an end - time to move on and be happy :)