Thursday, June 18, 2015

Fight Song

A good song. Kind of spoke to me this morning I guess. I've been up since 5:45am (although my UP band says differently as I was hoping I'd fall back asleep)

I was thinking a lot while trying to fall back asleep. I've come a long way since my first hospital stay in October 2013. I went through many hospital stays, 2 surgeries, depression... it's been a hard road for me. But I feel like I'm actually doing well now. I've gotten used to the ostomy (still not a fan but who would be). I'm happier. I know my family and friends see that.

I have more to this journey. Another surgery that could really go either way in terms of successfulness. How will I handle it this time if things don't go well/I'm in pain/etc? I feel like I'll handle it better this time, at least I hope I will. There have been changes in my life overall since the last time so I feel like I have the support and means to get through whatever is thrown my way. I've got more fight in me this time because I know what I DON'T want to be like. That me from before - I don't want to see her again, that's for sure.

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