Good Days

Well, things are getting better. I have good days and bad days but the good seem to be outweighing the bad. Surgical scars are finally starting to close up, pain is starting to ease up and I am getting use to life with a stoma.

My stoma has changed since I posted a photo of it for everyone to see. The stitches have finally dissolved and are gone and it has returned to being an "outie" - now that it's healed I may take another photo at some point. I haven't had any more leaks with the ostomy bags which has been terrific. I am still self conscious about it but not as much as I was in the beginning.

Here is a photo of me with the bag on. Obviously it's usually tucked into my clothes :)
And please ignore the fact that I am clearly not wearing a bra… lol

As you can see, I still have to pack, cover and tape my holes from the complications with my surgery (you can't see the lower one in this photo). I still can't believe how skinny I am these days. I have stayed at a size 6 since January. I have never been a size 6 ever. My lowest in college was an 8. It also seems that no matter what I eat, I don't gain anything. My doctors are concerned about what I am not absorbing into my body these days. The iron pills I have been taking haven't done anything so it looks like I'll have to start infusions soon. I would like to stop being so tired all the time. That's my biggest complaint these days - fatigue. It seems I can't get through the day without a nap which is near impossible when you're a stay at home mom. I will also have to start injections of some other vitamins as my levels on everything are pretty poor. Malnutrition can be a huge problem in people with Crohn's Disease so that's something I'll have to keep an eye on.

I am getting better and I am very thankful for that. Still hopeful that someday I can rid myself of the ostomy bag (the current thought is February or March) and that is my little light at the end of this road for me. However, I am realizing that if it can't happen it wouldn't be as life shattering and awful as I thought in the beginning. Really no one knows I have it and not having the Crohn's pains like I had before - well, that's worth it. I still don't like having it and do really want to be "normal" again but if that doesn't happen, I'll live :)

And, I've been talking to more and more people about my disease. Spreading not only awareness but support - that's been a good thing I think.