I'll start with the Crohns stuff. Some potentially good news. My home health nurse thinks that my current abdominal pain may not be Crohns related after all - but a side effect of the antibiotic I am on, Levaquin. I took my last dose tonight so all my fingers and toes are crossed that once this drug is out of my system I may become pain free. Surgery pain is completely gone and my two little holes are basically all closed up. Now… if this abdominal pain goes away then - I'll be completely pain free for the first time in a very long time.
So… I am thinking positive and hoping for the best.
So now some non Crohns stuff.
I've been a stay at home mom now for about 5 years. Actually 5 years next week as I started staying home when school ended in June of 2009. A few months before my son was born. I do love being a stay at home mom. I love that I am the one raising my children however… no one tells you how isolating it can be. How lonely it can be sometimes. Sure you make friends with the moms of the kids your kid plays with. Some of those friendships may turn into those great lifelong types of friendships but realistically many don't. While you may enjoy hanging out with these people, it's not what you thought it would be.
The ONLY part about working full time that I miss is being around other people all day. There are times when I can go days seeing no one but my kids and my husband when he gets home from work. It's the main reason why I spent so much time on Facebook - it's that adult interaction but even that's not the same.
We've moved since our son was born. A very good friend I made when he was a baby doesn't live all that close to me and it's hard for us to find the time to get together between what we have going on, what the kids have going on, etc. A good friend I made before kids lives a little over an hour away from me and she now has kids as well. She also works full time so that makes getting together with her even more difficult. When I first moved to the town we currently live in, I clicked right away with my neighbor. We are very close but she's an ocean (and time difference) away right now so that's hard too. I can not wait until she comes back but it will be a couple years. She'll be here this summer for a bit and I can't wait. I am also hoping we will get to go to Paris to visit her next year which will be awesome. I have another very close friend here in town but, as lots of friendships go through things, its a little weird right now. I'm sure it'll all be fine, all relationships go through highs and lows but the lows really suck when you seem to be smack dab in the middle of them. Even if it's not a LOW low…. know what I mean? Probably not… do I even know what I mean? Ugh.
I have a lot of friends here in town but not a lot of close ones. There are definitely relationships I would like to make better but it always seems to be a time thing. Schedules are busy or don't align. I really should be better at trying to make things stronger but I can be shockingly, quite shy. The people I have really clicked with are few but once I click with a few people I tend to kind of stop and be content with that. I feel like making friends as an adult is a million times harder than as a kid. And growing up it wasn't terrific for me either. I was teased relentlessly for a long time and then just was shy and kept to myself more than anything. I've tended to clam up a lot as an adult because it became second nature for me. While I find it very easy to spill my guts and open up totally online (overshare as people have told me I do)… I do that with VERY FEW people in real life. If I have talked to you in depth about a lot of things - you are one of a small handful of people. Small. Tiny. Miniscule. I'll touch upon things with people but really getting into it - those talks that you need to have to get stuff off your chest - yeah I don't do that much. I write it more than I talk it.
Don't know where I was going with this… just stuff on my mind I guess. But as it's now 1am… I should probably try to sleep. Yeah… trouble sleeping is another side effect of Levaquin. I tend not to read the side effect sheets because then I convince myself I have those things. So… the one time I get two side effects from the drug and I didn't even think about it as a possibility. Will be so glad when it's out of my system!
No comments:
Post a Comment