Testing update

Yesterday I had my test. It was not pleasant but I survived.

NO FISTULA.

Everything looks good and there appears to be no fistula between my small intestine and my bladder which is good news.

However, the pain then is most likely caused by the Crohns acting up in my small intestine. Not much to do but sit and wait and see.

I was mad yesterday. Not mad about the test outcome per say but more about the fact that I left the appointment with zero definitive answers. Like most of my life with this disease really. At least when there is an answer, there is something to be fixed. You know?

And, if my Crohns is acting up in my small intestine and that keeps up well… I'll never get the stoma reversed. Which was very upsetting and disappointing news. That was something that bothered me a great deal.

I almost threw and broke a mug but went and got a spontaneous tattoo instead. Yep… that helped.

Today I woke up feeling good. NO pain. I have some now but nothing bad. Not like it's been the past week. So I guess we're back to when the pain comes and goes. Which makes my daily life interesting. But… easier as long as it's not everyday constant bad pain. If we can keep it to manageable pain like before then I'll be OK I guess.

I am trying to have faith that I am going through this for a reason. It's hard but I am really gonna work on that because maybe it'll improve my outlook. I am tired of being negative so much so I have to just let myself have a mad day (like yesterday) and then just move on and be positive.

Wish me luck :)